"Don't think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It's self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can't try to do things. You simply must do things. "
- Ray Bradbury
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| Photo by Amy Geliebter |
So, after waiting for a response and then a phone call, the meeting will be happening tomorrow afternoon before I have to pick up Trevor from work. It'll work out. I was hoping to go workout in the a.m. but at the moment I feel like that shouldn't be the way I do. I will probably be smarter if I spend the day making sure my portfolio is perfect, that I'm organized and confident that I will be able to get across what I do and who I am.
Knowing that I am going in tomorrow though is really making me self conscious. I bought a new pair of shoes but now I'm self conscious about my tattooed foot. Don't get me wrong, I love my tattoo and what it means, but when someone else doesn't understand why I have it and what it is, they judge. I have also sat at my desk and taken all of my feathers out of my hair.
Usually I would be of the opinion that if you don't like me and what is me then I'm not budging...but for tomorrow I'm caving a bit. You never know, they probably may not have any problem with the little things about me that are "crazy" but why put that out there in the beginning. I feel like I'm cheating my self. I shouldn't be changing me, but isn't that what I've been doing for the last three months with the weight loss? They may not notice that I've lost 32 pounds...but they will notice something they don't agree with. I'm being careful.
Sorry self, we'll talk tomorrow night.
Gillian
