Slacker

"Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill."
- Christopher Parker

This bill...my ass can't cash. 

It's been forever, (November 2nd), since I last blogged. In all honesty I've been avoiding it like I've been avoiding everything else lately. This month started off with a cold which I think rolled around like an ugly dirt covered snow ball into depression and sadness. 

I've been feeling so stressed, down and with a topping of a sense of frustration and failing. Never mind the cherry on top of that mess, it's full of sugar anyways.

This month has been full of a lot of tears, not enough water and denial. I feel as though I've been putting immense pressure on myself, as well as receiving it from a few other directions. After Trevor's birthday on the 15th I...for the second time since starting to lose weight...was up a single pound. It didn't sting as much as the first time (there were no tears or the question of WHAT HAPPENED!?), but it still had a burn. I'm pretty sure that tomorrow will also involve some of the same numbers when I approach the scale. 

Although I have been feeling down and out, I have NOT settle for not keeping myself accountable. I have stepped onto the scale so that I do not sink further into the fog I am currently in.

With the snow falling today, the feelings that I've been covered in, like a heavy blanket, are slowly starting to melt away. While the stress from work, losing weight and life in general are still there, I am once again starting to feel as though I am capable of picking myself up and pushing myself forward.

Within the next few weeks I will once again be switching gyms and again...it is out of convenience. It is nice to walk into a gym that on most occasions you are either alone or only there with a few other people but it will also be nice to again only be associated with a swipe card and a number. 

Work gets a deal with Goodlife and is also willing to pay me up to $250.00 a year in health costs if I go to the gym approx 10 times a month. I can do that! Even more so when I am able to go to whichever is the most convient for the day. I look forward to trying out the all female location as well as the co-ed one when it is the only thing left open. Working shifts that can go until 2 in the morning isn't good for a gym that closes by 930 at night. I need to be able to sleep in and not have an hour to workout, shower, primp and be to work.

I am changing...so I guess my routine and comfort levels need to as well. I am sure all of this is going to make me stronger and a better person. That or I will be the recipient of a heart attack in the next few years. If so, please let it be while I'm still fat. It would be a real kick in the teeth to get thin and then die.

I hope you are all healthy, happy and feeling beautiful. I think of many of you on a daily basis and only wish for comfort and happiness for each of you.  You are wonderful.

Peace of mind goes a long way..

I'm just missing some..

Gillian