"The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way."
- Robert Kiyosaki
Unfortunately this post isn't going to start off in a lighthearted manner this morning. Today is my weigh-in day...I'm disappointment to say that I have gone up a pound. While Keith says perhaps its from water retention, increased muscle mass or even the humidity (others before me today also went up a pound), I'm chalking it all up to I didn't try hard enough and there were too many carbohydrates.
Today, tomorrow and the next day I will be going back to my menu I received at the first and carbohydrates will only be consumed in fruit form as well as in small ways at breakfast and lunch. Thirty was an important number for me to hit and the disappointment I felt and feel now needs to propel me forward. This is only a failure if I let this get to me and I don't make the needed changes.
I've spent a few moments crying in the office, my car and on my drive into Saint John. In a little while I will be moving my ass up out of this chair and going to workout. As my Aunt Avis says "Giver er hell."
This will be the last time I do this - apologize to myself - I'm sorry. I will be better.
Gillian
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
Sucker
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
- Henry David Thoreau
Today is one of those days...I'm pumped but at the same time I'm worried and I'm anxious. Now that the weight is coming off there seems to be a voice screaming in the back of my head all of the "what ifs" that may or may not happen.I'm scared that what if my weight loss doesn't continue and I'm not working hard enough. What if I lose a lot of this weight and then I look horrible because my skin is sagging all over the place and then I'm trapped in the body of an 80 year old woman. I am far from being a millionaire and there is no way that I would be able to afford skin removal surgery.
I have spent the morning reading blogs, threads and sites that talk about this problem. Even ran across a thread from a girl that lost over 80 pounds of weight and was only 19 when she finished and had saggy skin. Say wha?! I thought that the younger we are the more elastic the skin is and the more collagen we have. I understand that genetics are a large part of what happens and the rate that you lose your weight, but isn't it genetics that got me in this with the combination of other things?
While I was surfing and finding things that made me more anxious (sometimes the internet is a curse because there is too much information available from so many sources) I ran a crossed a product called Skin Tight by Nourish. The reviews seem pretty good and its suppose to help with firming and helping the skin deal with all the changes. I may have just been sucked into some bulls***, but at the moment I'm willing to give into something that perhaps will lend me a little more hope that everything will work out. Perhaps this will be a placebo, but right at the moment...I just need a little something to help me towards where I need to be.
This morning wasn't spent just panicking about what could be, I also found some online yoga and pilates that I hope to put into my workout routine. Keep in mind I have not tried these yet but I am going to post this so that if anyone else would like to try then they have the option - Yoga - http://www.yogajournal.com/podcast/ and the Pilates can be found if you go to Youtube and type in "Pop Pilates". Heres hoping that they are worth it and will make a difference.
Take care, comb your hair,
Gillian
Sunday, 26 June 2011
My Braject.
"The only gossip I'm interested in is things from the Weekly World News - 'Woman's bra bursts, 11 injured'. That kind of thing."
- Johnny Depp
"Considering the size of you, they're not that big." This is the conversation between myself and a Doctor in the Fredericton area after she has performed my yearly exam herself and had her student do the same. A bit of a strange moment which left me not sure if I should take it as a compliment or not.
I've spent my life with my chest being the only thing that got me any real attention from the opposite sex. Having awkward moments with male peers wanting a "hug" for no apparent reason. Don't let them fool you, I knew what was going on.
Yes my "girls" and I have been thru thick and thin together, although I don't ever remember that decisive moment when they appeared and I was then shackled for life, like all other women, to that which we call the over the shoulder boulder holder, a double barreled catapult, the boobie-basket, horse feed bags, tit sling, an upper decker flopper stopper, or to put it straightforwardly - THE BRA.
While other parts of me seem to be shrinking, this area is still in full swing and holding out for the long haul. The other morning while getting ready to go workout, I obviously flexed the wrong way and my sports bra made a disturbing noise/feeling that vibrated over my back. Could it be that this piece of cloth and metal that I'd be depending on for a year+ had finally given way to the gravity that had been pulling at it? Sadly...after further inspection I realized the weakness. One single, stinking clasp. This story is not a sad one my friends, this weakness, this one crack of a snap meant something bigger. It meant....NEW BRA SHOPPING TIME!
Before working-out that morning, I made a pit stop to the store that welcomes my chubby figure - Addition Elle - and purchased not only a new sports bra for myself but also another lovely number that will surely help my self esteem and my bust-line. The sweet thing is, when you buy one you get 40% off another. How could I pass it up? My bank account probably doesn't appreciate it, but I do.
While the sports bra is somewhat...or a whole lot unflattering to the majority of us there is a reason why I and you should look into buying one (or a new one) if you are starting a new healthy lifestyle like myself. A popular magazine published earlier this month - When you run, your breasts bounce 8 inches vertically (no wonder I had that choking feeling). A study that was done at a University in the states found they move roughly in a figure-eight pattern: 50 percent up and down, 22 percent side to side, and 27 percent in and out. (When we walk, they move about the same in each direction).
For those of us that are a bit bustier, this has to be hard on our bodies. An average 36C weighs in around 2 pounds each, meaning you are carrying almost a liter of soda in each cup (+)!
There was obviously a reason my bra chose last week to give way on me. I'm spending more time trying to correct the damage that I've done to my insides and thankfully this is helping the outside, but if spending a little extra is going to make "the girls" happier by the end of my workouts I'm willing to do that. They've been around for a long time and we still have a ways to go, I don't want them giving up on me and moving to my navel.
Catch you on the next bounce,
Gill
- Johnny Depp
"Considering the size of you, they're not that big." This is the conversation between myself and a Doctor in the Fredericton area after she has performed my yearly exam herself and had her student do the same. A bit of a strange moment which left me not sure if I should take it as a compliment or not. I've spent my life with my chest being the only thing that got me any real attention from the opposite sex. Having awkward moments with male peers wanting a "hug" for no apparent reason. Don't let them fool you, I knew what was going on.
Yes my "girls" and I have been thru thick and thin together, although I don't ever remember that decisive moment when they appeared and I was then shackled for life, like all other women, to that which we call the over the shoulder boulder holder, a double barreled catapult, the boobie-basket, horse feed bags, tit sling, an upper decker flopper stopper, or to put it straightforwardly - THE BRA.
While other parts of me seem to be shrinking, this area is still in full swing and holding out for the long haul. The other morning while getting ready to go workout, I obviously flexed the wrong way and my sports bra made a disturbing noise/feeling that vibrated over my back. Could it be that this piece of cloth and metal that I'd be depending on for a year+ had finally given way to the gravity that had been pulling at it? Sadly...after further inspection I realized the weakness. One single, stinking clasp. This story is not a sad one my friends, this weakness, this one crack of a snap meant something bigger. It meant....NEW BRA SHOPPING TIME!
Before working-out that morning, I made a pit stop to the store that welcomes my chubby figure - Addition Elle - and purchased not only a new sports bra for myself but also another lovely number that will surely help my self esteem and my bust-line. The sweet thing is, when you buy one you get 40% off another. How could I pass it up? My bank account probably doesn't appreciate it, but I do.
While the sports bra is somewhat...or a whole lot unflattering to the majority of us there is a reason why I and you should look into buying one (or a new one) if you are starting a new healthy lifestyle like myself. A popular magazine published earlier this month - When you run, your breasts bounce 8 inches vertically (no wonder I had that choking feeling). A study that was done at a University in the states found they move roughly in a figure-eight pattern: 50 percent up and down, 22 percent side to side, and 27 percent in and out. (When we walk, they move about the same in each direction).
For those of us that are a bit bustier, this has to be hard on our bodies. An average 36C weighs in around 2 pounds each, meaning you are carrying almost a liter of soda in each cup (+)!
There was obviously a reason my bra chose last week to give way on me. I'm spending more time trying to correct the damage that I've done to my insides and thankfully this is helping the outside, but if spending a little extra is going to make "the girls" happier by the end of my workouts I'm willing to do that. They've been around for a long time and we still have a ways to go, I don't want them giving up on me and moving to my navel.
Catch you on the next bounce,
Gill
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)