Oh so sleepy

"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

- Mark Twain

First day of getting up early to go to the gym before work. Done. Completed and now I'm sleepy. I felt pretty good at 5 in the morning only I was awake before 430. Unsure if that was the whole night before Christmas syndrome or if it was the strange dreams.

Anyways, day one is down and my clothes are laid out for tomorrow morning. Fingers crossed that I have more energy by the time the afternoon rolls around. Felt fantastic though to know it was over and I could come home and not have to worry about it.

Home tomorrow night to get rims for new tires and a haircut. I think I might nap on the way.

T'is good,

Gillian 

Something New

So after the last few weeks staying the same and being sick and then finally having my lungs feel as though they are only five more pounds this week. Once my weigh in on Saturday was over I apologized to myself and to Keith for the last few months being a little lack luster. I'm ready to get this ship sailing again.

Tonight was the first step towards that. While it was Lindsay's birthday party tonight I did not have cake. It's the little things that start to make the difference. With that said...another big thing that is going to happen is I am going to try to start getting up at five a.m. and which will end me up at the gym by 530 in the morning.

It will be nice to get back into the swing of things. I'm hoping so hard that this will light the fire under my ass. Finally being on a 9-530 is lovely in one way but frustrating in the other. By the time I get home I am just too tired. Gym in the morning hours before work were the way to go and now I am sure will be the way to go again. Fingers crossed it's as great as I am hoping.

One thing is for sure though. There will not be ladies standing around chatting instead of working. Machines for everyone!

Huzza,

Gillian

Lungs

"If you woke up breathing, congratulations!  You have another chance."

- Andrea Boydston

The sickness is finally coming to an end. While it began in my head it has ended in my chest. I find that I am still coughing a lot and now even walking from my car into work makes it hard.  My lungs feel as though they weigh 50 pounds and I often catch myself gasping to get more air in. Needless to say with how I'm feeling I haven't been to the gym. If walking makes me winded I could not even begin to think what it would have been like to try to do the elliptical or treadmill. 

Not being able to workout and the hunger that came on while being sick really freaks me the hell out when I think about getting weighed on Saturday at 12. We shall see I guess. You're not sick every week so I need to let it go, breathe deep and move on. Once this cold gets finished with me life will go back to normal.

I've heard that perhaps for the next month I will be continuing to build ads which means that I will be on the day shift so I will have to really get used to the working out at night and dealing with that. I'm alright with seeing the sunshine after work.

Tomorrow I am heading to get the blood tests that Dave wanted done to check my thyroid. Now that I'm almost 70 pounds lighter my situation on that front may have changed. Better to have it looked at so my energy level may change with out or with different levels.

Bubbles and hiccups,

Gillian

Closer....CLOSER

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."

- Henry Ford

Weigh-in day! I lost more, yet again. Forgot to ask Keith for the exact number but I'm at my lowest for sure. Only another three pounds and I will be hitting the 70 pound mark. INSANE! Seems like such a huge number and while I feel different, look different it doesn't seem possible that that much weight has almost come off my frame. 

I did stop in to see Dara this morning and she said that she can really tell that I've lost and says that I look great. Thank ya Dara! I had to stop in to the office because like I said in my last post I think I did something to myself at the gym or I irritated it enough that when I moved something just enough the other day hell unleashed its numbing effects. I asked about the the Athletic Therapy and the Massage to see if she knows if its covered under Trev's plan. Unsure so I will check into it and see if I get a note from my doctor if it will make a difference. Would be nice if that is the case....if not its not expensive enough that I can't treat my body to it every month or so. 

I had been to see Tara Jackson before when I had first started trying to lose weight and she found that there was a bit of a disconnect between joints and a bone out of place that between the session and the exercises she gave me, seemed to take care of itself. If you are in pain...why not try it? Not going to lose anything (other than money) and you will gain a body that is just that much happier with you. 

Anywhoodles, I forgot to post on here the other day about my latest shopping adventure. The comfy pants that replaced my other fatter comfy pants were starting to sag...and need to be replaced. At Christmas Mom and Amanda had given me some gift cards for Penningtons (I now choose Penningtons because of the better customer service, friendly staff and more variety over Additionelle) but they had gone the last few months in my wallet until Mom gave me yet another one for my birthday.

Gift cards in hand I headed out to Penningtons to replace my pants that have earned their retirement over the last few months. Thankfully the jeans were on buy one get the other 50% off! Love a sale! With the two pairs of new pants in hand, I handed over the gift cards....I GOT 25 CENTS BACK! Whoop whoop. Was meant to buy a smaller size for a smaller convenient price. 

This is where the story goes a bit strange...They also had buy one bra get the other for $18 dollars. While I love my bras from Additionelle for the shape and fit I thought I'd try these in hopes they would be fabulous and I wouldn't have to step foot back into Additionelle for my bra needs. Unfortunately...they aren't built the same...AT ALL! 

Sizings are so funny from store to store. I had to go UP three/four sizes to get the bras to fit around then the C cup that I have been since middle school...my cup didn't runnith over and it wasn't filling. I quickly asked for a B...and my boob was still prepping with a parachute to jump out! How is that even possible?! I guarantee you...my boobs are not an A. 

While I left with two pairs of great jeans that make my bum look great...the bras just didn't work out. If you have larger breasts and have a hard time finding cup sizes that fit I recommend these to you, but for me. Not happening. I like the girls to be up and perky, not hiding in a large cave with an echo. 

This brought on another fat girl experience though that I find happens often now. I've written before about the strange phenomenon of my brain only registering me still as the heaviest I ever way. I felt good on the day that I went to get the pants. I put them on...congratulated myself on how I was looking and feeling being proud to be down another pant size but once I started to try on the bra that SHOULD have been my size and it was no where near closing my brain switch flipped. No longer was I the smaller version. I was back to the large scary version that made me cry day after day. It seemed within split seconds the second chin and LARGER than normal muffin top were back full force. It's amazing the tricks that your mind can play on you.  

If you're suffering from this as well...breathe and be okay with it. Tomorrow is a new day and it all seems to reset in the mornings. I'm sure for the rest of my life at certain moments my fatter self will show its ugly face but at the same time..perhaps this will serve as a reminder of where I was, where I've come and the fact that I never want to go back there. 

While fighting off my fat demons, I seem to be coming down with a cold of some sort. I woke with a sore throat, a runny nose and a dead degu. While the latter is the more horrible of the three, I am unable to do anything about it. She'll be buried on Saturday. For now...I'm going to go drink some more water and stretch my body out before I head to work for one. 

It'll be ok.

Tomorrows another day.

Gillian

Injury

"An injury is much sooner forgotten than an insult. " 

- Lord Chesterfield 

Not sure how or exactly when...but I think that I've hurt myself for the first time since I started my healthier lifestyle.

I remember earlier in the week that my hands seemed to hurt for some reason but now in my hips and the bottom of my back there is a bit of an ache/numbness. Unsure how to exactly explain it. I did not end up going to the gym tonight. Tomorrow I don't believe that the treadmill will be in order but I will try to just get on the eliptical for awhile to see if that helps.

I have tried stretching myself out but it doesn't seem to work and agitates it a bit more. Stretching now is one of my favorite things to do. Makes me feel like I am able to take in so much air and I am more conscious of my body, so to not enjoy it...sucks.

Heres hoping that it does not last long and I haven't done anything stupid to myself. Perhaps its a sleep issue? Sounds a tad lame but fingers and toes crossed. 

Spasm,

Gillian

Updateily-do!

"A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life."
- James Allen

Like always a new week brought on some new challenges. The shifts at work were changed for the second week in a row of me working during the day which was harder to switch to than I thought it would be. It was lovely though to get off work and actually see the sunlight and Trevor. 

Going to the gym during the evening presents the same challenges as the mornings do. Although I would have to say that everyone is more motivated to get what they need done faster and more efficiently in the morning hours. The evening hours brought more people that work out in chatty pairs or teens that are new to the gym enviroment. I know that there is a gym thing where you can ask people if they are done to move them along but when you're one asking multiples it becomes a little harder. One things for sure though, when I don't get to stretch like usual...I'm not a very happy panda.

I also noticed this week that the grays that I have were making yet another apparance and while I usually color my hair with semi-permanent color John Frieda has a new one out that is foam and I felt like I should give it a whirl. I always try to get everything even when I'm doing it at home but I will be the first to admit that sometimes my color jobs are less than perfect. 

 By the end of the foam color experience I felt like a chocolate cupcake and there was not a moment that I pondered if I had enough product or not to color my hair, which now is always on my mind now that my hair is getting longer. So, if you color at home and aren't looking for any crazy colors the John Frieda line may be for you. I myself will be turning to it next time I need to color. 

I was weighed on Saturday of this week again because of the hours that I was working. I am glad to say that I was down over a pound even though my feet were swollen as though I was pregnant when I went in to see Keith. Hopefully next week brings the same if not better results. This week was TOM and with him he brought a unicorn pimple centered in the middle of my forehead which I find frustrating to no end. By in large I am a lucky person and have never suffered from any acne or skin issues so I guess I should suck it up and deal with the occasional blemish that is thrown my way. 

All in all its been a good week and I hope this upcoming week is great.

Hope you all are healthy and happy.

The Majestic Unicorn,

Gillian