Burnt Toast

“The decisions that we write off as momentary, insignificant, incidental, everyday encounters are exactly when we have a chance to define ourselves. To find beauty. To engage the world around us. To create memories.”
― Teri Hatcher, Burnt Toast: And Other Philosophies of Life 

Carbs, the only time they make me feel worse is when they're burnt.

I've been trying to eat when I get to work (an hour and a half early). This is partially to keep my home life happier on work mornings and keep Trevor from asking "Why are you always in a rush, get up earlier."

This morning was multigrain toast with peanut butter and a side berries and yogurt. I burnt that sucker so bad I could smell it at my desk. Nothing like eating hard discs to make you want to take a bite out of life first thing in the morning.

I did however have a  lovely non-fat caramel ice coffee though from Starbucks so all is right with the world.

It's nice enough out that I'll be able to go for my walk this morning/afternoon with Jocelyn. Always puts more of a pep in my step and honestly, easier to tackle the rest of my days work when are able to accomplish a half an hour walk at least around the uptown Saint John area. 

It needs to get done during work hours because tonight, I'll be spending the evening hours with Ethan while Trevor and Amanda go to see Spiderman. I'm not a big movie person (perhaps it has something to do with the short attention span. I want to walk around and talk damnit!), so its nice that they can have each other to go, sit and eat movie popcorn that is eating you from the inside out...it's the color of your fat...why do you want to eat that? 0_o

Anywhoodle doodles, much love!
 - Gillian

Organization

"First comes thought; then organization of that thought, into ideas and plans; then transformation of those plans into reality. The beginning, as you will observe, is in your imagination." - Napoleon Hill

Soup is made and put into containers.

Flyers have been sorted through and a plan of action for grocery shopping and meals for the week has been laid out and placed on my black board so not only I can see it but also it is in front of Trevor so he knows where to go. 

Trevor has been great over the last few weeks and has agreed to always have supper in the works at night, if not completed for when i get home at 630 now that my shift has gone a tad later than it had been a few weeks ago. I prefer to have my food in my gut before 7 and with the shift change it was proving difficult. 

This whole thing was so much easier when losing weight was my job. Now that I have another job (NewPapers) it has increased in difficulty. At the end of the day I am exhausted mentally and physically. What I would give for a slow pace job where people watch tv or play on the internet. I wonder what thats like. 

While my job is stressful and I am on most days consumed with the realization that I care too much while others chill out and lean on others to complete what needs to get done, I am glad that I am not depending solely on myself to find the work and then chase after people to pay me. Perhaps that will be the direction I go in again at some point but for right now..this is where I need to be. 

My energy level has been lacking but that is because honestly..the workouts are lacking. There are many days that I go for a walk at lunch time but I need to get back into the swing of things and throw some weight(s), other than my own, around at the gym. I had been going to the gym in the mornings but I find that I am losing sleep because I am constantly waiting for my alarm to go off. So perhaps moving to the nights again for awhile is the way to go. Anxiety...you are not welcome. 

When I had first started this weight loss journey over a year ago I had bought myself new shoes as a gift to me and a pat on the back for what I had accomplished at that date. So, this past week I went to sportcheck and picked out some new beauties that should get me excited again about being active.

The best part of these shoes is that they are a tad wider so I don't feel like I'm stuffing my feet into something too small and narrow for myself. Hopefully this will help with the comfort aspect of my weight loss. 

They are lovely and feel lovely so theres a tad more pep in my step. 

If only everything else in life fit as well as my shoes.

I've noticed now that I've been in weight loss limbo that Iaam once again starting to feel uncomfortable and bloated in my skin. I had lost this feeling for awhile when I has lost to much but perhaps now that the skin is catching back up and is fitting back into place remembering a smaller shape, this is what is making it less comfortable. This could be the sign to get it moving again.

As for the other important part of my life, the wedding has been booked and I will be getting married in Jamaica on the 19th of February surrounded by a small group of our family. Surprisingly enough Moncton is now making a direct flight available which is amazing and is one less thing to worry about. I enjoy the thought that the only thing left is the dress. We've upgraded ourselves so that we will have the privacy of the deluxe wing (LOVELY) with a jacuzzi on our private balcony and our family is also in luck in getting ocean view rooms. Now if I can only keep myself from not burning until the day of the wedding we will be set. 

I've been trying to research being over weight and running but there isn't much out there right now. The only thing I've found honestly is to slowly increase the time over a half an hour. Run walk walk run...seems like a bit of a no brainer but I find myself leery of running because honestly....jiggle jiggle. I understand that I need to not give a flip of what other people think when it comes to me and my health and the steps I'm taking towards it but who in their right mind isn't wondering what everyone else is seeing/thinking. You'd be a fool to ignore it or lie about it. People watch me just like I watched the crazy lady in the crazy pant suit outfit. o_0

I know I know...I need to suck it up buttercup. Keith is always telling me that I need to use the feelings I have towards pushing myself harder, faster and longer but its hard. 

It's hard being a girl, let along a fat girl. 

Bloated and moving. 

Gillian

Blister

Blister #2 of the summer has now been healed. What a pain in the Booty.
New shoes perhaps this week thanks to a sale sportcheck.
Fingers crossed that they are the correct width.

Take it when you can

I've been walking at work during my lunch break.
Two perks - I get out of work for an hour and I get my exercise. Thankfully Jocelyn is sweet enough to go with me so it makes it go even faster.
I've also been trying to set my alarm to remind me to eat every two hours.
Water consumption is also good. Whoop whoop.

Wedding also booked.